9 Things I Learned in the Mental Hospital

9 Things I learned in the mental hospital - Cassandrastout.comAfter the birth of my son eleven years ago, I suffered a postpartum psychotic breakdown and committed myself to a mental hospital. I later wrote a book detailing the experience, and how I reacted at the time. I learned many things during my five-day stay, and I’d like to share some of them with you today. Here are 9 things I learned at the psych ward:

  1. Anger is common. The most surprising lesson I learned during my stay at the mental hospital was that anger is shockingly common for patients at first. While there, the doctors seem to be your enemies who want to keep you there. It’s not true. Your doctors want to help you exit the facility successfully. Couple the us vs. them mentality with emotional and mental distress, and it’s not suprising that patients tend to respond with anger. But the heightened emotion tends to dissipate over the length of the stay, as the medication starts working.
  2. Inpatient treatment is a stopgap. A stay in a mental hospital is similar to a stay in the physical hospital for surgery: you don’t fully recover while you’re there. A mental break or depressive episode can’t be solved in a day, no matter how good the meds are.
  3. The patients are human. One of my main mistakes during my stay in the mental hospital in the mental hospital was dismissing the other patients as “crazy.” But the patients in a mental hospital are human, with all of humanity’s weaknesses and strengths. Everyone has a story. Everyone is suffering more than you know. I learned that I shouldn’t dehumanize or dismiss people because they’re suffering from mental illnesses–including myself.
  4. The staff is human, too. Learning that the patients were human was hard, but what was even harder was recognizing that the staff were human, too. At first, I believed the doctors and nurses were out to get me. But the staff are all individuals, and human. Some of them are kind and compassionate, while others are just working a shift. I learned to accept the flaws and foibles of all the nurses and psychiatrists, and that made the stay more bearable.
  5. Boredom reigns supreme. After my anger diminished, I was bored out of my skull. I was manic and depressed–suffering from a mixed episode–and restless. The only distractions available were coloring sheets, an ancient, derelict computer, reading old issues of Reader’s Digest, and (gasp!) talking to the other patients. I was far too revved up to engage in coloring or sloooow web surfing or reading, so I talked the ears off of my roommate.
  6. Even while psychotic, I was aware of how people treated me. Even during my psychotic break, I was able to pick up on other people’s moods. I don’t know if that’s just a “me thing,” or if everyone psychotic is that in tune with others, but I knew when people were mistreating me. Be careful when dealing with psychotic people, and treat them with respect.
  7. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. During my stay in the mental hospital, I grew close to my roommate. Too close. I struggled to separate myself from her, even feeling shocked and betrayed that she would vote for a different presidential candidate than I would. I genuinely believed we shared the same thoughts. Learning boundaries was extremely difficult for me, but everyone benefited.
  8. The nurses draw your blood after every meal. The other patients and I were required to sit in a garish, orange chair after every meal and “donate” blood. The nurses drew our blood thrice daily, and it wasn’t until the middle of my stay that I realized they were checking to see if the medication was up to acceptable levels.
  9. If you commit yourself, the doctors cannot legally hold you.  Missing the first few weeks of my infant’s life was devastating. I was desperate to go home and take care of him. It wasn’t until my fifth day that I learned, through a slip of the tongue from a nurse, that, since I committed myself, I was able to go home anytime. I left against medical advice the day after that–potentially a mistake, as my recovery time from my mixed episode was probably longer than it would have been because I didn’t allow the doctors to do their jobs. Thankfully, God was with me and I did, eventually, recover (see lesson #2).9 Things I learned in the mental hospital - CassandraStout,cin

Final Thoughts

My stay in the mental hospital was literally life-saving. I learned more about myself there in six days than I learned in a year’s worth of therapy prior to that. I learned how to manage myself, other people, and my expectations of those people. I managed my surprising anger. I learned that dehumanizing others is easy and a bad habit to slip into. I learned that mental hospitals sound like scary places, but they’re actually really boring. Above all, I learned that I can handle anything life throws at me.

If you’ve dealt with a stay in a mental hospital, what have you learned?



Show me some love!

Author: Cassandra Stout

Hi! My name is Cassandra Stout, and I am a freelancer and memoirist who blogs at The Bipolar Parent (Cassandrastout.com/bpparent) and at the International Bipolar Foundation (IBPF.org). My current project is Committed, my upcoming memoir that depicts my time spent in a psych ward after a postpartum psychotic breakdown. I am a ten-year member of a five-person critique group called the Seattle Scribblers. It's nice to meet you!

6 thoughts on “9 Things I Learned in the Mental Hospital”

  1. My stay in a mental facility was much more traumatizing; probably because I was going through a severe manic episode that included psychosis. I was just talking to my therapist about my struggle with my terrible memories (at least the parts I can remember), and she suggested I find the significance in my stay. I hope I can do that soon…

    1. Dear Amy,
      I am so sorry that your stay in a mental hospital was so traumatizing. I also suffered a manic episode with features of psychosis; I’m sorry that was unclear.

      Finding significance in terrible events can be so difficult. I hope that you will be able to process your thoughts and memories about the stay and find some measure of peace in them.

      Have you tried writing them down? Maybe setting the memories down to paper would help you organize them. If you want to share your experience with the world, you can publish an article or start a blog. If you are terrified by the prospect, you can absolutely burn the paper or journal or delete the word document.

      Please do whatever you have to do to reorient yourself. If it has been a short time since your hospital stay, as you know, processing memories takes time. If it hasn’t, then please don’t beat yourself up, saying you’re stuck. Trauma takes a long time to get over.

      Best of luck. I will keep you in my prayers. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment.


  2. In the UK, if you commit yourself voluntarily, you can’t leave unless signed off by a dr, If you insist and they think you’re unwell, they will just ‘section’ you (legally detain you there involuntarily).

        1. I absolutely agree. The book I reviewed, Breakdown, talks about how in the US, people suffering from psychosis aren’t able to be legally detained after a certain period. Most of the time, they end up being a danger to themselves or others. The book calls for legislative action to be taken so people suffering psychotic episodes can be better taken care of by psychiatrists in mental hospitals.

          Here’s the review if you want to read it: https://cassandrastout.com/2019/05/03/book-review-breakdown-a-clinicians-experience-in-a-broken-system-of-emergency-psychiatry/

          Thanks again for stopping by and leaving comments. Engaging with readers is the best part of blogging.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *